WATCHING AS THE WORLD YOU'RE IN SLOWLY TAKES ITS TOLL


Things to do in New York when you're bored. For one, make clipart (see above). I think the joy of our DJ reunion has been inspirational on all levels. I did that; Sarah wrote a blog post like she hasn't written in aaaaages, doing the classic video dance like I do almost every late night, curled up with a tea and a VH1 Classic video block.

VH1 Regular proved its worth last night with my favorite trainwreck of humanity, ROCK OF LOVE BUS (YESSSSSS!!!!!!!). "I didn't know they made bikinis in size fat fuck." I mean... really? These women are unreal - literally and figuratively. Of course the one I identify with most is the one that gets branded as "smelling like a man," ie the only one who refrains from dipping in the whoresbath, ie the only one who doesn't give off the welcoming bouquet of vitamin E cream and babywipes. This show makes my life better every week. I don't know what that says about me. I'm not sure I want to know.

Anyway, now that the Giants are out (I'm a Jets fan, but I was still being supportive), the Rangers are slumping, the laugh-quotient of the Knicks is wearing thin, and baseball is still months away - I need other things to stave off the boredom of unemployment. So, imagine how good it sounded when Leigh suggested we build a tent in her new backyard. Yeah.

So there we were - two very urban ladies making the bold move into Paragon Sporting Goods.


That's Leigh inspecting tarps. Points to her for superior engineering concepts. Meanwhile, I was distracted by the quease-inducing selection of camping foods. I love the idea of camping (Mrs Lewis, if you're reading, we really need to get on that). I do not, however, love the idea of freeze-dried beef stroganof.


Go figure. Once the tarps had been selected, we proceeded to checkout. As the guy rang up the purchases, I turned to Leigh and said, "This suddenly feels very Law & Order. Two very non-sporty looking girls buying large tarps for no apparent reason... and suddenly there's a body in the East River."

"You're totally right," she said. "I probably shouldn't have used my credit card. Now they're gonna bag the pen I used and dust it for prints. And they probably have security cameras trained on our faces as we speak."

"Shit. And now we're going to buy twine and duct tape. This is getting worse and worse."

The Paragon dude handed over our parcel and said, almost ashamed for us, "You guys watch way too much TV."

Whatevs, bro. That's why we were building a tent! Ryan and Justin came over to help with the actual assembly.


(Pretty much the only thing that bums me out about my sweet sweet Blackberry Bold is the shit flash on the camera, hence the darkness and lack of better documentation). Once we were somewhat satisfied (that is to say, once it got freezing and I suggested we wait for Leigh's roommates' approval before doing any more damage - I mean, home improvement), we retired to the living room for Dominos cheesy bread and... this:



I had thankfully missed Leigh's late night IM on Sunday urging me to turn on public access. Had I seen this show in the dark of night, on my own, under the influence of Trader Joes... I might have fled New York. It's twenty minutes of that guy. Smoking cigarettes and declaring his love for a woman that he recently slept with. And asking to sleep with her again. And apologizing for the fact that he's going to have to kill her in the name of satan. I shit you not. And I thought Brody Jenner getting a show was a stretch....