WHERE OH WHERE ARE THE MUSIC WORLDS' CELEBS?

well, for one, the queen of the fat-lady-in-a-chair dance wont be seen in the UK any time soon, seeing as theres more members in her entourage than there are sheep in wales.

oh, if youre looking for madonna, here's a hint: she aint gonna be madonna for much longer. in yet another assertion of her crackpot beliefs, the unholy one is changing her name to that of a hebrew queen (for more on her namesake, check out my march entry on PURIM). next thing you know, shell be getting her tip chopped off.

apparently the smack in thailand aint all its cracked up to be. pete doperty is back in the uk.

and finally, francis dirtypants have neared the million sold mark. its nuts. theyre almost platinum. which i guess would explain the scene at their show last night. move over strokes, the scottish dancehall heroes have finally usurped your crown. and by crown, im referring to the "oddest VIP crowd evs" crown. get ready, the name-dropping commences... now:

i shook my shit with andrea and sarah before stepping back from the balcony edge for a breather. i took a moment to break from reckless abandon to look around, and found myself jiggling my gudunkadunk in the faces of albert hambone jr and julian lennon. when did they become best buds? well anyhow, shimmy on over to the right and whos hips am i bumping? chris martin and the coldplay crew. and no, he was not drinking an apple martini. he was, however, doing the hipster knee-shake with, ahem, the utmost in british rhythm. shortly thereafter, a boisterous bunch entered, led by none other than johnny knoxville and kate moss. they werent making out that i saw, but what better foreplay than bouncing to "darts of pleasure?" indie rock noteables were limited to daniel from interpol and vv and hotel of the kills. it was a highly entertaining, unbearably sweaty, motley crew.

as for the show... blah blah blah... the band is fantastic... blah blah blah... they sounded tight and confident (like million-sellers should, naturally)... blah blah blah... the venue was too big, and my connection to the band was lost. its really such a double-edged sword, this success business. its marvelous for the band and those that are reaping the rewards, but the fans who feed the fire end up numb and detached. oh well. shit happens. im just looking forward to their comeback tour in 2024 when theyll be playing small rooms to faded hipsters with saggy boobs and pension plans.