THE "WAKE ME UP INSIDE" WEEKEND

i know youre all dying to know what an evanescence concert is like, right? sure ya are, so i totally took one for the team and braved the roseland crowd of hot topic shoplifters this past friday to check it out.

sad to say, i didnt make it past song 3 of the evanescence set, but even so, i think i can give a fair idea of what you missed. the supporting band was canadian export, default. they had one radio hit last year-- "wasting my time," which is probably only familiar to me due to my year of duty producing the WPLJ sunday midday show. theyre typical modern rock lite-- think nickelback but less ugly (and sadly, even less catchy). i passed the time during their set with punkass jason. we playacted our very own modern rock band! i think weve both pretty much mastered the spread-legged, herky-jerky guitar playing favored by the wallet-chain set, and jason tried covering his punk-adour in lieu of the standard bald bandmember (see: live, vertical horizon, staind, finger eleven).

as the salty roadies reset the stage, i had a chat with my favorite metalman, frankie from anthrax. he was super-psyched to see me wearing my darkness tshirt, and gave me repeated props for being the first person to tip him off to their greatness. ive been up his ass about them since august-- making him sit through a slapdash listening sesh when he came into our office. i promised to let him know about their next nyc appearance, because his curiosity is finally at attendance-point.

ok so drumroll, please. evanescence. i tried, tried, tried to keep an open mind here, folks. i mean, ill admit-- the first time i ever heard that daredevil song, i was impressed. i remember exactly where i was too-- in a coworkers car, en route to brooklyn for a stoned scrabble session. amy lees voice was just so commanding-- and it was so unusual to hear a chick singing "metal." but ok, 32408294820843208 listens later, that song makes me want to drive black spikes into every fishnet wearing fat chick in middle america. nevertheless, i was intensely curious as to how this band is live. i mean, this roseland show sold out in 4 fucking hours, people! 4 hours! theres got to be a reason. my skepticism has been intensified by all televised performances ive seen of the band, though. im sure you know what im talking about-- with the untouched vocals way up in our piece it becomes all too apparent that ms lee wrote these songs a few octaves too high for her own good. it makes me want to stand out in the audience with a lacross stick-- primed and ready to catch a lung when it flies my way. thankfully, at roseland the instruments were loud enough to drown out her straining. and i say thankfully with a grain of salt-- it was the lesser of two evils. the second song they played was "going under"-- i think it was their second single-- and i felt that having seen one song i recognized i had fufilled my evanescence obligation. i say "seen" and not "heard" because my fingers were planted firmly in my ears throughout. i was there to observe. the surging crowd of hefty whiteys, decked out in the finest faux goth-wear and teeming with anti-atkins/pro-coors rage got me packing before amy lee could finish introducing the third song-- A SOUNDGARDEN COVER.

i went and met up with massimo, jeralyn, and the dear tonight crew at brio and proceeded to get DRUNK. we moved the party to black and white and encountered a wall of yuppies imposing enough to scare us over to odessa. i ended up passing out in randys lap, which i took as my cue to call it a night.

saturday was gorgeous, so i met lucy and soren in union square for some magazine reading and establishment bashing. we marvelled at the amount of downtowners apparently suffering from SAD and enjoyed the weather as it lasted. when the sun went down, i returned home to prepare for my night out with andrea and the cooper temple clause. half the band was spinning at don hills, and superfan andrea dragged me along to witness it. our pregame vodka-redbull fest rendered me crosseyed, which i suppose is necessary to tolerate tiswas these days. white light motorcade played a set, but i was too busy being drunk and chatting up boys to pay attention. didz CTC and i swapped queen trivia over a number of cigs, and i put my foot in my mouth (duh) by asking tom CTC which one of the band had played irving with a ridiculous faux-hawk during cmj. (ill give you a hint-- the answer starts with "t" and rhymes with "dom"). i spoke to jeff, the singer of aerovox for quite some time. turns out hes just as much of a reality tv junkie as myself, and that proved to be more engaging conversation than my admittal (is that a word?) that i hadnt paid attention when his band played earlier that night. once TCTC guys hit the decks, i prepped for my exit. i stopped to chat with justine d, who was having a hard time understanding why the boys were playing techno. she shared her DJ philosophy with me-- that in selecting records to play, DJs should make people dance, not scratch their asses. what a crazy philosophy she has! so i left andrea to her drunken devices and went home to watch the sex and the city finale one more time. i still dont love it, but i cried, which i suppose is a plus.

so yeah, thats it for my weekend. on sunday i bought groceries. whoa.